procession of thoughts.

It was a starless sky. Well, most probably, there were points of light but the vast heavens were pretty cloudy. Yet, the moon shone luminously on its finest shape. Its manifestation promised to lift chins to secure compliments.

I accompanied my mother and two aunts to join the procession today. Oh okay. Let me restate that. I was more than accompanying my mommy, Tita Baby and Tita Myra; I also opted to participate in the procession.

Let me take you a trip down memory lane. When I was younger, slim and slender (I miss that :) Karen was accustomed to take part in processions every Holy Week. She treads the road of San Vicente and Parada with the rest of Tres Marias, her ever-there cousins, Ate Joy and Ate Carla.

I may have not fully realize back then, but pacing the motorway with a candle stucked in a cardboard at hand was my way of observing the Holy Week. And I guess, I still bear the same reason why I joined the procession four hours ago.

Ate Joy and Ate Carla are now college students. The former hails from Quezon City actually. Tita Baby was waiting for her outside their house. "Nasa NLEX pa raw eh," she breathed with worry. And so, I replied in concern, "Baka hindi na makakasama yun, pagod pa yun eh." Emerging from the dullness of the night, a mademoiselle with long, curly locks came approaching our way. Tita Myra. I asked her, "Si Ate Carla?" "Kakauwi lang eh, pagod," she answered. Okay, no Tres Marias tonight.

The procession sets off in the next barangay, San Vicente. The four of us rode a jeep minimizing sixty minutes of relaxed walking to five minutes of travel. The mass was already in the communion rite when we arrived in the Diocesan Shrine. Anyway, we did not have plans of attending the mass afterall. It was my first time in the place. My mom and my aunts visit rarely. If I am not mistaken, it was just mommy's second time.

The three of them were conversing how idyllic the place is and how lucky are the residents nearby. The moms were comparing our parish and the shrine. Then my own thoughts started rolling. Imagine this. Fr. Vic Robles lifts the host for consecration and suddenly, some vehicle passes by, the driver exercising his democratic rights, claiming the "King of the Road" crown. Fine! You own the track! Eh di sa'yo na yung daan.

Okay, It's plainly my fault if I always get distracted every Sunday in the church. My concentration nerves aren't just good enough, but hey! Talking about drivers who keep bragging their horns! One of the most irritating things ever. If someone has to fine them everyday, or even jail these self-proclaimed road royalties for a month, just to remind them A MASS IS GOING ON, A SACRAMENT IS BEING CELEBRATED, so be it. They have to learn the ABCs of courtesy.

My mind was activated from that moment on. And I really thought of blogging. :)

After the shrine tour, we walked our way to the place where people started assembling. I passed by a karo, and whoa! Mother Mary smelled like Clinique Happy Heart.

It was already 7:30 evening and the 7:00 PM procession has not started yet. The four of us pleasured ourselves with a conversation. Our exchange of thoughts flowed from driving lessons, to Dr. Luciano, to orthodontists, to the Perezes. We arrived to glutathione and calamansi, the hell I dunno how. The next minute, people started lining up and our, uhm, girl talk terminated.

This time, I was not holding a candle jammed in a piece of cardboard. Wax started dripping to my right hand but I did not let out an ouch (neither an aray. hehe). I was 80% numb, frozen to my deep pondering. My class adviser and RE teacher must have been proud of me, I was sincerely reflecting, and well, examining my conscience.

I was observing the people surrounding me because, I guess, most of us no longer understood DEEPLY what we were there for. If I asked those people one by one regarding the essence of the procession, I think my anxieties would not be alleviated nor my question be answered. Well, who am I to doubt? so, I am not trusting faith testimonies anymore? I do not know actually. I guess because no one seems to be helping me unearth clarity? My mind is all cluttered with random thoughts of faith. My sentences are not even organized. All throughout the procession, I was struggling with these thoughts.

I am living a hollow spiritual life right now.

I need my Religious Education teacher/Class Adviser.